just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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