oh god the rape fog is back!
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
