He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize