You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
