Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
