There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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