then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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