i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
