mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
