He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
