You're earring is so big in my mouth
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
