Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Let's get the cat blown out
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
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