idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
When are your genitals available?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
