It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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