I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
