You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
