I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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