dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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