we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
