I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
