When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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