I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Randomize
