I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Randomize
