Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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