Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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