ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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