redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just want nice things and good sex
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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