GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize