He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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