therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
