Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Let's get the cat blown out
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
