It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
