Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
