wat bout pragnant strippers??
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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