No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
