so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
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