idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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