he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Operation Purity has been aborted
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
