Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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