Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
okay pat passed out under dana's car
I'm drive I can fine osifer
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
