Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Brb crying the tears of my youth
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
