I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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