She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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