No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
