dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
