Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
