it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
