I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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