i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
