I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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