It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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