when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Randomize