Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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