Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
