she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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