Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize